New Chapters

It has been almost a month since my last blog entry.

A lot of things can happen in a month. Indeed, a lot of things have happened these past four weeks.

Milestone moments.

So, my unico hijo graduated from high school last May 30. He graduated with highest honors. He was one of the recipients of the Citizenship (Leadership) award, and he was also given the Scholastic and Academic Award. 

I was one proud mommy. I still am. 

I listened in awe as he delivered his Valedictory speech. That speech which he didn’t want to show us prior to graduation — mainly because he wanted it to be his own. I respected his decision because I knew that the writer in me would have ended up editing the speech here and there… And the mother in me would have added stuff that I thought was important. 

And so he held his own. He wrote his speech without any inputs from his parents… And he delivered it to the graduating class and the whole community with such grace and confidence. He talked about superheroes and about how one need not be a superhero to leave a mark in the world. He talked about his classmates and friends who in their own ways are mighty enough. He talked about the school and the community that shaped him to become the person the he is today.

As I observed the teachers, other parents, and the rest of the school community listening to his every word, I couldn’t help but think that yes, I must have done something good. Although I knew that the day was not about me… still, I couldn’t help but take pride in the fact that I helped raise this young man up. I had a hand in molding him into what and who he is now.

I also said a silent prayer of thanks to the Creator — for entrusting this child to me. I thanked Him for allowing me to experience this precious thing called Motherhood.

the graduate

With the Cup and the Cap that kept falling off — much to my dismay!!

❤ ❤ ❤

June 4 — the unico hijo turned 18.

Wow. 18 years. Time just flew by. He is now 18… I can no longer claim to be just 27 years old. Gosh.

I tried to think about how 18 years of being a mother has changed me. Aside from the additional 18lbs (or maybe even 20?) that I have gained through the years, surely there were other changes that took place.

For one I am no longer the clueless young mother that I was years back… I am now a clueless old mother. Haha, kidding. 

Motherhood doesn’t come with a handbook. One learns about parenting from other people — like your elders, or your peers. You also learn given the situations or circumstances that you face. You learn from your child. You learn from your mistakes, too. 

Ultimately you learn to trust your instincts and you make decisions based on what your heart tells you… because your heart will always opt for the good, wherever your child is concerned. 

Motherhood changed me. I learned things about myself, did things that I never thought I was capable of doing. I found that kind of strength that I never thought I had. I learned to make wise decisions. And more importantly, I learned to put someone else’s needs before mine.

Years back, when I decided to be a full-time, hand-on mom, I heard remarks that were enough to make one feel inferior. To some people, I became “just a mother.” Like my value as a person diminished somehow.

Now 18 years later, I’d still say that I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  

almon

Our first date after he turned 18 ❤ 

❤ ❤ ❤

The coming months will be pretty interesting because once my son is already in college, I will only be mothering from afar. So basically, I am starting a new chapter in my life, as well.

Whenever I read a book, I always look forward to starting new chapters. Each new chapter holds promise. If the previous one was bad, I look forward to the next one being good. If the previous chapter was good, I look forward to the next one being better.

As my son begins his new chapter, so will I begin mine.

Here’s to living God’s purpose, one life chapter at a time.

photo credits: pictures are all mine 🙂

Undomestic Goddess Me

goddess

every bit a goddess

Once again, the days came and went.

I have been meaning to blog during the Holy Week break, but the whole family was here, so of course, family came first.

It was a time well spent with people I love.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 🙂

***

Several years back, I wrote a piece about how I reinvented myself — From being an independent, working, single young female, I got married and became, well, a domestic goddess!!

The essay was published by Philippine Star newspaper some 8 or so years ago.  The other day, as I was googling myself (oh yes, I do that on my spare time… come on, you do that, too!), I found the archived write-up online!! How cool is that?!

Thought of sharing the link so you will get to know me better… Yeah, that, and because I don’t really have anything else to blog about right now… haha.

Read on and get to know the Undomestic Goddess me… 🙂

PS… Comments are welcome. Oh, and please just don’t mind the symbols in between some words.  Something must have happened when they archived the file.  But modesty aside, it’s a good read…

❤ – B

http://www.philstar.com/sunday-life/392632/undomestic-goddess

*****

clipart image via google; Undomestic Goddess article via Philippine Star

 

Countdown to the big XL

this has NOTHING to do with my figure.

In case you are wondering what’s that Countdown to the Big Day widget that I placed there at the bottom right part of this site, well, basically I am counting the days ’til I turn XL years old  (I hope you know your Roman Numerals…)

Why I am doing the countdown… I really don’t know!  If you read a previous post  (Life begins at —) then you would know how paranoid I am about getting old(er).  But then, since it’s inevitable — unless I want to die young, which I have NO intention of doing — then I decided that I might as well embrace the fact that I am about to get another year older, and I am entering a new decade age-wise.

***

The days just go by so very fast.  Can’t believe that in a few months time, it will be December once again.  I have been hearing Christmas songs being played in the mall.  Soon it will be my birthday… then Christmas… then we’ll be welcoming the new year.  Where has 2012 gone?

The other day I asked myself, if there was no baseball to keep me busy, what would I be doing?  What is it that I would want to spend my time on?  Something that will make me grow as a person… as an individual?

Much as I have grown to love baseball, baseball is not about me.  It’s about my son — and maybe my husband even.  But not me.  I am only there as a mother, a cheerleader and an avid supporter.  In the movie of our baseball life, I play but a supporting role.  Basically, it’s not MY movie.

MY Movie

A lot of times I have kept myself so busy playing hero-support that I lose track of the things I want to accomplish for myself, by myself.  I forget to give myself the chance to play heroine in my own movie.

But then again, what do I want to do?

Offhand, these are the things I can think of:

I promise I will write more…

1)  Write more.  Not just blog more, but contribute regularly to various magazines.  Though I have lost touch with my editors from before — most of them have switched jobs, anyway — I am probably pestering other editors to assign topics for me to write about if I were still in the loop.

2)  Charity work.  For the past five or so years, I have been sponsoring a small community up north.  I send  children’s books and school supplies to their daycare center before the schoolyear starts, Christmas gifts and grocery items in December, and sometimes financial help during the in-between months. But I feel there’s so much more I can do for them.  Maybe I should start with visiting them so we can all meet each other in person. Maybe I should step out of my comfort zone and BE with people, share my time and presence with them.

childhood dream

3)  Travel.  Travel to see new places… to shop… to relax. My last several trips were all baseball related.  I miss going places without all the baseball-tournament-related-stress.  I want to go back to France and maybe go to Italy, as well.  I have always, always wanted to ride a gondola in Venice…

4)  Fix the guest room. Fix my files. Fix my bookshelvesDiscard the things I don’t need.  We’ve been in  our house for only two and a half years, but my guest room already looks like a storage room,  my files/papers/bills are everywhere but in the filing cabinet and my bookshelves are in a total state of chaos.  I know I need to MAKE time to fix all those.  I have to start somewhere.  The spirit is willing… but the patience isn’t quite there…

my dream bookshelf

5)  REALLY make an effort to lose that 5lbs I have so wanted to get rid of.  Wishing for it to go away won’t work.  I know because I have wished hard enough… and long enough.  Didn’t work.

wishing away…

6)  Still look XXX when I turn XL.  Okay, so this is so lame!  Indulge me.  A girl can dream.

7)   Make a difference in someone’s life.  I don’t know who nor do I know how.  If you ask why, the answer is, “Just because.” 

Making a difference.
Just because.

***

Perhaps I should keep in mind all the things I mentioned above as I do my countdown. Rather than just waiting for the “big day” with me being no different from how I was when the countdown began, maybe I should at least attempt to work on ticking off something from that list.  There are only 7 items written anyway, so how difficult is that?

It will be very difficult if I won’t move my butt and step out of my comfort zone.  Yet it will also be very fulfilling if for the next three months I will make a conscious effort to at least do something for myself.

Challenge accepted.   Wish me luck!

**********

photos via google images. photo of gondola taken in Venice, Italy, borrowed from an old friend’s album…