Over the weekend we were at this popular bookstore near our place to look for my son’s assigned books/textbooks for college. I knew that the said bookstore carries my book (uhm, my published novella) — I personally delivered their copies sometime in January of this year. Out of curiosity, I tried to check where my book was displayed and yes, I wanted to know how many copies were left on the rack.
I walked around the store but couldn’t find one copy, so I went and asked Customer Service. So the staff checked their computer, then asked me to follow her… and led me to a pushcart, not so far from the counter. When I asked where they were supposed to move or display the books, I was told, “Oh, these are for pull out.”
Okay, so my eyes opened wide, my jaw dropped (and yeah, my heart pretty much broke). Casually I asked the salesgirl, Who ordered the books to be pulled out – and why? Basically she couldn’t answer. She looked at the other clerks who at that time were all listening in and staring at us. Nobody could offer an explanation. They just said the books are to be returned to the supplier. When I told them I am the supplier and I was not told about the pullout, they just all gave me a blank stare.
Calmly I told the salesgirl that I will just get in touch with Purchasing department. Hopefully they have the answers. I turned to leave before I ended up saying something mean – or throw a fit, or have a meltdown.
A LOT of things ran in my mind… Only a few people bought my book… Maybe it was too expensive?… My fault for not really marketing it… Maybe I suck as a writer?!… Why do I even write when no one reads me anyway?! … What a loser… And so on, and so forth.
On my way out of the bookstore, I told my son, “Now I feel bad.”
At that time, I pretty much allowed eight unsold books to define me… and to ruin my evening.
Don’t we all experience those days?
Nothing seems to be going your way… Expectations are not met… Prayers are left unanswered… People disappoint… You feel lost… You don’t know your purpose… People do or say things that mess up your psyche… Circumstances strip you of your confidence, make you question your worth… People are hurtful and insensitive… We don’t know the answer to our many why’s.
The world can be cruel. It can weigh you down.
That is if you will allow it to.
For the past several weekends, our Worship Team in Church had been singing the song “Take Courage” by Bethel Music. Over and over.
It’s about taking courage, holding steadfast, holding on to hope. It’s about waiting and watching for your triumph to unfold.
I kept hearing the song in Church. Over and over.
It was when I started having those days — Those seemingly bad days… Those I feel like such a loser kind of days… It was then that I realized that the song was being played for me. Over and over.
My God’s reminder that something good is about to come. Just wait.
When I got home from the bookstore that evening, I found a message waiting in my social media account. From halfway around the world, someone was telling me how excited she was that she finally got hold of a copy of my book. I believe God sent this angel to cheer me up. I hope she knows she was my angel that evening.
And to further make me feel better, a few minutes later, I received another message from another time zone — from someone I hardly talked to — telling me how much my blogs inspire her and that she enjoyed reading them. Totally unexpected.
Right when my self confidence was starting to spiral down, it was like I was reminded to just chill.
It happens. We get tired and weary. The world can be mean.
But as the song goes, Slow down, take time, breathe in… He’d reveal what’s to come.
In the meantime, God sends angels to comfort us, remind us that everything will be well.
Sharing with you the link to the song ‘Take Courage’… Because someone might be needing it right now.