In case you missed it…

college-graduation

Start of something new…

I wrote this piece for Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf’s online site brewyourbestyear.com just recently.  It’s something I wrote especially for this year’s graduating students. I thought of posting it here in my blog for the benefit of those who missed it. 

Read on and ponder… 

❤ ❤

Nuggets of Wisdom

Ahh, graduation.  It’s that time of year once again. A time to close another chapter of one’s life… a season ending.

It is during this time when parents listlessly ask, Where have the days gone? How did my child grow up so fast? Is he ready for the real world? While the students probably think to themselves, What is in store for me? What will life offer? Am I ready?

Don’t we sometimes wish that life comes with a guide book where we can find solutions to our problems or directions to follow so we can avoid getting into trouble or sticky and hurtful situations? Unfortunately, there’s no “Manual for an Easy and Perfect Life” available.

We learn from our own experiences.  We also learn from our peers. More so, we learn from our elders. We gain wisdom from the ones who went before us, simply because they have “been there” and yes, they have “done that.”

To the graduating students who are just about to go out into the real world, allow me to share some insights on life.  These are learnings that I have gathered through my years of having been there and having done that.  

Hopefully, these nuggets of wisdom can help guide you in this journey called real life…

Girlfriends

#Girlfriendsgoals

On Friendship

Friendships do not happen overnight. We all know that. It took days, maybe even months and years, for you to form a bond with your childhood, high school and college friends. I believe the same thing goes with people you will meet in the work place – or in the great ‘out there.’  Remember: Trust is earned.

Hold on to your old friends. You will meet new people. You will have new and exciting relationships. You may even not see your old friends for years.  Yet neither time nor distance can erase real friendships. Value the ones who were there when you were young, pure and innocent. They will remind you of who you really are, no pretensions needed, and they will love you just the same.

True friends are those who stick by you through thick or thin.

Not everyone can be your friend. So, you are Mr. or Ms. Congeniality… and yet there is someone who rubs you the wrong way. Or maybe you rub them the wrong way. It’s okay. You don’t have to be friends with everybody. But be nice.

brokenheart

People can sometimes break your heart…

On Dealing with People

People are not always appreciative so don’t expect them to be. You don’t have to please everybody.

You cannot expect everybody to always agree with you or think the way you do.  You don’t always have to agree with someone else’s opinion, but you can learn from the differences.  Besides, life will be boring if we all think the same way.

There will always be people who have a lot to say. The “know-it-alls.” They have something to say about you, about the government, about other people, about the weather. If you think and feel that what they say doesn’t do you any good, then by all means, shut them out. Constructive criticism is different from just plain criticism. Don’t let the negativity get to you.

Stay away from toxic, negative people.  They will suck the energy out of you. And check yourself, too. 

You cannot please everybody, help everybody, make everybody happy.  But being one person’s hero is enough.  Be that hero.

Happytobeme

I am the best Me

On Being the Best You

A person’s true character is revealed during difficult or trying times… not when things are good. The same applies to yourself, too.

You cannot buy breedingNor can you buy character.

Keep evolving. Is there a skill you want to learn? A hobby you want to begin? Then go for it. One is never too old to learn something new. You’ll be surprised at what you can actually accomplish if you just put your heart and mind to it. Don’t be afraid to surprise yourself.

Respect. Yourself. People. Their Belongings. Don’t be rude and self-absorbed. The amount of respect you expect from others is commensurate to the respect that you give.

It’s all about perspective.  When you feel like the world is closing in on you, step back a little.  Find a better view.  Breathe.  You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change your outlook.

Learn to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make small slip-ups, sometimes we do major tumbles and fall hard. When you do, don’t wallow nor condemn yourself. Own up to your faults, dust yourself off, then move on.

Learn to apologize. Know when to say sorry and know when to forgive. Be the bigger person.

Stick to your non-negotiables.  They define who you are.

Be kind.  A little kindness, a heartfelt smile, a generous act, selfless actions go a long way. Some people need to see light shining on them. Be that light.

In everything, give thanks.

Lastly, share yourself, share your wisdom. Share what you know. Allow others to learn from you.

As you get older you will realize that one of the best compliments that you will ever receive is when people say how proud and fortunate they are that you are in their lives and that you are indeed a blessing to them.

So, go and be that blessing. ❤ 

***

 

All photos were grabbed — or borrowed — from google images. Thank you clipart, Sex and the City, and Sesame Street.

Write up originally published at CBTL’s brewyourbestyear.com. You may find the original link here. For more of my write-ups on this site, please click : Betsy Gacutan-Ochosa

 

Love thyself

tiffany

Elsa Peretti Open Heart ring in 18k rose gold

Every once in a while, I submit write ups to the Brew Your Best Year webpage of Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. Last night they posted my latest contribution. 

I wrote this piece in time for Valentine’s month. Nothing mushy or sentimental, though it talks about an experience that had something to do with my heartYou may read about it here: Matters of the Heart.

It’s the first of two parts, actually. The second part should be mushier… though as of the moment, the whole story is still just in my head. Hopefully I get to write it soon. 🙂

Hope you’ll  learn something from this one… ❤

🙂

Photo of Elsa Peretti Open Heart ring from Tiffany & Co. website, Elsa Peretti collection. *No connection to the write up, but thought of using it because it’s just so pretty — and what girl doesn’t like ogling Tiffany jewelry? I believe it’s good for the heart. ❤ 

 

Meet me at the bookstore…

16114449_1051204061692813_5494425477215210884_n

Oh, the places you’ll go…

The book – Twenty Years in Between – is out!!

Those who have been following my blog, Facebook and Instagram accounts would know that I have been doing the rounds, distributing to various bookstores.

Lately I have been receiving a number of inquiries on where they can get the book. Truth be told, right now there are limited number of printed copies available, so I had to choose strategically where best to place them.

Below is a list of the bookstores that already carry Twenty Years in Between:

National Bookstore: 

* Alabang Town Center (ATC) * Festival Supermall * SM Southmall* SM Center Molino, Bacoor* Glorietta* Greenbelt 1* Market Market* SM Aura Premier* SM Mall of Asia (MOA)* Robinsons Place Manila* Harrison Plaza* Taft Madison 

Powerbooks: 

*Alabang Town Center* Evia North* Festival Supermall

Fully Booked:

*The Fort, BGC* Mall of Asia (MOA)* Katipunan* Eastwood* Alabang Town Center 

Central Bookstore: 

*SM Megamall* Lyceum Branch, Makati* Also available online at http://www.central.com.ph

For delivery this week in the following National Bookstore branches:

Trinoma* SM City North* Quezon Ave.* Loyola Heights Katipunan* SM City Fairview* SM City Marikina* SM Megamall

Copies are limited, so GRAB ONE NOW!! ❤

***

This time last year, I was still in the process of getting to know my publisher. Truly I am still amazed at the many things that can — or better yet, that had happened within a year’s time! 

I am grateful to the people who have supported this dream of mine. Indeed, I am so very blessed. 

Sharing with you some photos of this wonderful journey…

From the Book Signing last September

With Ms. Clarissa Ines, my uber talented book cover artist!

 Dear family and friends… What to write, what to write… 🙂

More Friends Enjoying the Book…

How to write heartfelt dedications… ❤ 

My Bookstore Visits…

It is fun, it is tiring… it is exhilarating! Best part is– I know this journey has just begun.

All glory goes to the One Who made all these possible. All for You, Lord. 🙂 

Leaving you with this… 

13934996_934169373396283_9064235400315671062_n

Because this is truly, definitely how you will feel after reading the book…

Twenty Years in Between… The Love Story of Lizzie and Joseph

Grab a copy now!!

❤ ❤

photo credits: BuzzFeed Books post grabbed from Facebook ; all other photos are mine 🙂

Like us on FB: Twenty Years in Between 

Something to ponder on…

forgive

Cuteness overload 

I AM SURE that we all, at some point in time, have been disappointed by someone close to us. A friend, a family member, a partner, a loved one… someone you trusted. It’s not a good feeling.

Most of the time, with disappointment comes hurt. We end up feeling betrayed. We wonder how the person we thought we knew can be capable of totally disregarding how we may feel. So we become wary. We question if that person is still worthy of our trust. 

Our first instinct is to take care of ourselves and make sure that the person who disappointed or hurt us doesn’t get the chance to do it all over again. We guard ourselves from more disappointment. We build walls around to protect us. 

But man in his frailty is prone to making mistakes. We all fall short. Sometimes we hurt other people without meaning to. Sometimes, other people hurt us.

Some people turn bitter and find it hard to trust again.  Others are more forgiving and believe in giving second chances. 

Ultimately, the choice is yours. You can be bitter, you can walk away, or you can forgive.

Choose that which will liberate you.

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. All you who hope in the Lord– Ps. 31:24 

***

Leaving this here…

apology

***

photos via google images

A day in the life…

 

14610996_10154124421708737_6114771645764497218_n

Selfie ready. Always

It normally takes me an hour to get ready when I have to go somewhere — be it running errands, going to school affairs, meeting friends for coffee, or simply going to the mall for some Me time.

I have an intensive beauty regimen. If I don’t get to put on moisturizer and lotion, apply make up (i.e, eyeliner, lipstick, concealer), powder my nose, and spray on perfume, I would feel totally incomplete.  I go through that every single day… even when I have to stay home. 

It takes me an hour or so to finish in front of the mirror. I always make sure I put my best face forward.

Yesterday was an exception, though… It was one of those off days.

I was supposed to accompany my dad to his doctor’s appointment. I also had to get some documents needed for my son’s college applications from several banks. I had quite a lot of things on my mind and was quite distracted. 

Not knowing what time exactly my dad needed me, I decided to do my bank transactions first, hoping that it wouldn’t take forever for me to finish. I was in such a hurry that I was only able to take a quick peek at the mirror, put eyeliner, reapply lipstick and dab a bit of powder on my face. I rode the car with disheveled hair and all. I prayed nobody I knew would see me. 

***

As expected, it took me a while to finish my transaction at the first bank that I went to. By that time, my dad has already texted three times — to ask where I was, to tell me the schedule and to ask again where I was. I was starting to feel stressed, I felt my straight hair starting to curl.

I told myself it shouldn’t be as bad in the second bank since I was simply going to pick up some documents.

The bank officer in the second bank was very accommodating. He looked for and handed me right away the documents I needed. Just as I was about to leave, though, he asked for an ID that they can photocopy and attach to the transmittal memo that went with the documents. I obliged.

As he was returning the ID, he read my birth year aloud. “19–.” He looked at me, then he looked at the ID  again and muttered, “You don’t look your age.

I smiled shyly and muttered, “I look older?” He replied, “Younger. Definitely younger. Wow.” 

I got my ID back, smiled a big smile, said thank you, and walked away. Felt like a Supermodel walking out of the bank.

The compliment made my afternoon… or at least a portion of it.

Yes, I’m shallow like that. 🙂

***

Going on a trip to my dad’s doctors is not something that I look forward to.  

In the last five years, my dad has had two surgeries, colon and then lung lobectomy, a series of chemotherapy sessions, and a knee fracture caused by an accident.  It was not an easy journey. Not for him and not for the family.  We have spent days going back and forth to the hospital. He has had a battery of tests.

But he is a fighter. He looked cancer in the eye and pretty much told the disease to take a hike. He has been cleared for almost three years now, though we still make regular visits to his doctors (all 5 or so of them) for monitoring.

He recently had his scheduled physical check up — CT scan, ultrasound, cardio test, and the works.  All tests he passed with flying colors.  I even kidded him the other day about his blood test results being more normal than mine.  

He is by all indication healthy and his vitals normal.

And then he started complaining about pain in the lower abs that radiates to the hips up to his back after sitting for a long time. No real reason for worry, we say. I keep telling him it’s just muscle pains and maybe nerves… maybe even rheumatism. 

As expected, his doctor said the same thing about his pain in the lower abs — it’s just muscle pains. But to address the back pains, the doctor ordered an MRI of the lumbar area. The pain, he said, can also be just muscle pains, or it could be a form of osteoporosis. Though because of my dad’s cancer history, they had to do an MRI. My mom and I exchanged looks. Here we go again…

From the moment we went out of the doctor’s clinic and all throughout the ride home, I have been praying silently that everything’s just muscle pains. 

When I don’t know the answer to my questions… When fear is beginning to creep in and I am starting to feel the anxiety building up… When I know that I cannot show how scared I am because I have to be strong for other people… Truly, prayer is my only refuge. 

***

After the doctor’s consult, we decided to go to a cafe and have snacks. We asked my sister to join so we can fill her in. 

So over three kinds of pasta (hospital news made us hungry), we talked about what lies ahead. It was just the four of us — My dad, mom, my sister and I. The original bunch. We provide each other with strength.

We assured each other that there’s nothing to worry about. That the pain may be just because of the usual wear and tear of the body. My sister even suggested that my dad does yoga. I told him to go to an orthopedic doctor and ask for therapy.

And so we wait for Monday’s MRI session and Thursday’s doctor’s verdict. As we wait, we pray. We pray for courage and strength. We pray for inner peace.

Funny how earlier in the day my main concern was just about looking good. Yes, I can be shallow like that 🙂 

*****

Photos are mine. Hover over the photos to see the caption. ❤