In case you missed it…

college-graduation

Start of something new…

I wrote this piece for Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf’s online site brewyourbestyear.com just recently.  It’s something I wrote especially for this year’s graduating students. I thought of posting it here in my blog for the benefit of those who missed it. 

Read on and ponder… 

❤ ❤

Nuggets of Wisdom

Ahh, graduation.  It’s that time of year once again. A time to close another chapter of one’s life… a season ending.

It is during this time when parents listlessly ask, Where have the days gone? How did my child grow up so fast? Is he ready for the real world? While the students probably think to themselves, What is in store for me? What will life offer? Am I ready?

Don’t we sometimes wish that life comes with a guide book where we can find solutions to our problems or directions to follow so we can avoid getting into trouble or sticky and hurtful situations? Unfortunately, there’s no “Manual for an Easy and Perfect Life” available.

We learn from our own experiences.  We also learn from our peers. More so, we learn from our elders. We gain wisdom from the ones who went before us, simply because they have “been there” and yes, they have “done that.”

To the graduating students who are just about to go out into the real world, allow me to share some insights on life.  These are learnings that I have gathered through my years of having been there and having done that.  

Hopefully, these nuggets of wisdom can help guide you in this journey called real life…

Girlfriends

#Girlfriendsgoals

On Friendship

Friendships do not happen overnight. We all know that. It took days, maybe even months and years, for you to form a bond with your childhood, high school and college friends. I believe the same thing goes with people you will meet in the work place – or in the great ‘out there.’  Remember: Trust is earned.

Hold on to your old friends. You will meet new people. You will have new and exciting relationships. You may even not see your old friends for years.  Yet neither time nor distance can erase real friendships. Value the ones who were there when you were young, pure and innocent. They will remind you of who you really are, no pretensions needed, and they will love you just the same.

True friends are those who stick by you through thick or thin.

Not everyone can be your friend. So, you are Mr. or Ms. Congeniality… and yet there is someone who rubs you the wrong way. Or maybe you rub them the wrong way. It’s okay. You don’t have to be friends with everybody. But be nice.

brokenheart

People can sometimes break your heart…

On Dealing with People

People are not always appreciative so don’t expect them to be. You don’t have to please everybody.

You cannot expect everybody to always agree with you or think the way you do.  You don’t always have to agree with someone else’s opinion, but you can learn from the differences.  Besides, life will be boring if we all think the same way.

There will always be people who have a lot to say. The “know-it-alls.” They have something to say about you, about the government, about other people, about the weather. If you think and feel that what they say doesn’t do you any good, then by all means, shut them out. Constructive criticism is different from just plain criticism. Don’t let the negativity get to you.

Stay away from toxic, negative people.  They will suck the energy out of you. And check yourself, too. 

You cannot please everybody, help everybody, make everybody happy.  But being one person’s hero is enough.  Be that hero.

Happytobeme

I am the best Me

On Being the Best You

A person’s true character is revealed during difficult or trying times… not when things are good. The same applies to yourself, too.

You cannot buy breedingNor can you buy character.

Keep evolving. Is there a skill you want to learn? A hobby you want to begin? Then go for it. One is never too old to learn something new. You’ll be surprised at what you can actually accomplish if you just put your heart and mind to it. Don’t be afraid to surprise yourself.

Respect. Yourself. People. Their Belongings. Don’t be rude and self-absorbed. The amount of respect you expect from others is commensurate to the respect that you give.

It’s all about perspective.  When you feel like the world is closing in on you, step back a little.  Find a better view.  Breathe.  You may not be able to change the situation, but you can change your outlook.

Learn to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we make small slip-ups, sometimes we do major tumbles and fall hard. When you do, don’t wallow nor condemn yourself. Own up to your faults, dust yourself off, then move on.

Learn to apologize. Know when to say sorry and know when to forgive. Be the bigger person.

Stick to your non-negotiables.  They define who you are.

Be kind.  A little kindness, a heartfelt smile, a generous act, selfless actions go a long way. Some people need to see light shining on them. Be that light.

In everything, give thanks.

Lastly, share yourself, share your wisdom. Share what you know. Allow others to learn from you.

As you get older you will realize that one of the best compliments that you will ever receive is when people say how proud and fortunate they are that you are in their lives and that you are indeed a blessing to them.

So, go and be that blessing. ❤ 

***

 

All photos were grabbed — or borrowed — from google images. Thank you clipart, Sex and the City, and Sesame Street.

Write up originally published at CBTL’s brewyourbestyear.com. You may find the original link here. For more of my write-ups on this site, please click : Betsy Gacutan-Ochosa

 

Advertisements

New Chapters

It has been almost a month since my last blog entry.

A lot of things can happen in a month. Indeed, a lot of things have happened these past four weeks.

Milestone moments.

So, my unico hijo graduated from high school last May 30. He graduated with highest honors. He was one of the recipients of the Citizenship (Leadership) award, and he was also given the Scholastic and Academic Award. 

I was one proud mommy. I still am. 

I listened in awe as he delivered his Valedictory speech. That speech which he didn’t want to show us prior to graduation — mainly because he wanted it to be his own. I respected his decision because I knew that the writer in me would have ended up editing the speech here and there… And the mother in me would have added stuff that I thought was important. 

And so he held his own. He wrote his speech without any inputs from his parents… And he delivered it to the graduating class and the whole community with such grace and confidence. He talked about superheroes and about how one need not be a superhero to leave a mark in the world. He talked about his classmates and friends who in their own ways are mighty enough. He talked about the school and the community that shaped him to become the person the he is today.

As I observed the teachers, other parents, and the rest of the school community listening to his every word, I couldn’t help but think that yes, I must have done something good. Although I knew that the day was not about me… still, I couldn’t help but take pride in the fact that I helped raise this young man up. I had a hand in molding him into what and who he is now.

I also said a silent prayer of thanks to the Creator — for entrusting this child to me. I thanked Him for allowing me to experience this precious thing called Motherhood.

the graduate

With the Cup and the Cap that kept falling off — much to my dismay!!

❤ ❤ ❤

June 4 — the unico hijo turned 18.

Wow. 18 years. Time just flew by. He is now 18… I can no longer claim to be just 27 years old. Gosh.

I tried to think about how 18 years of being a mother has changed me. Aside from the additional 18lbs (or maybe even 20?) that I have gained through the years, surely there were other changes that took place.

For one I am no longer the clueless young mother that I was years back… I am now a clueless old mother. Haha, kidding. 

Motherhood doesn’t come with a handbook. One learns about parenting from other people — like your elders, or your peers. You also learn given the situations or circumstances that you face. You learn from your child. You learn from your mistakes, too. 

Ultimately you learn to trust your instincts and you make decisions based on what your heart tells you… because your heart will always opt for the good, wherever your child is concerned. 

Motherhood changed me. I learned things about myself, did things that I never thought I was capable of doing. I found that kind of strength that I never thought I had. I learned to make wise decisions. And more importantly, I learned to put someone else’s needs before mine.

Years back, when I decided to be a full-time, hand-on mom, I heard remarks that were enough to make one feel inferior. To some people, I became “just a mother.” Like my value as a person diminished somehow.

Now 18 years later, I’d still say that I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  

almon

Our first date after he turned 18 ❤ 

❤ ❤ ❤

The coming months will be pretty interesting because once my son is already in college, I will only be mothering from afar. So basically, I am starting a new chapter in my life, as well.

Whenever I read a book, I always look forward to starting new chapters. Each new chapter holds promise. If the previous one was bad, I look forward to the next one being good. If the previous chapter was good, I look forward to the next one being better.

As my son begins his new chapter, so will I begin mine.

Here’s to living God’s purpose, one life chapter at a time.

photo credits: pictures are all mine 🙂

Happy place

The other weekend, my unico was fortunate enough to have been  invited to another College Weekend experience. Whereas last time he went to a University in Abu Dhabi, this time, he flew to Singapore.

It was an activity-filled weekend for him in another country. By himself, without nagging parents. What an adventure.

Unlike the first College Weekend that he had a month ago, this time I was not as anxious seeing him off. Perhaps it’s because Singapore is just four hours away, and he’ll be gone for just three days, anyway.

We dropped him off at the airport early Friday morning…

image

Saying goodbye…

image

Needless to say, I am already preparing myself mentally and emotionally for the time  when my son will leave for college for good.

It is inevitable. We have known this will happen… that he will study in another country. This has always been our plan for him, and his dream for himself. And given the opportunities that he has been blessed with, we know that this is also God’s great plan, as well.

But I guess no matter how much you prepare yourself, there will always be a feeling of loneliness that looms over, knowing that your child will be far away from you. As excited as I am with what the future holds for him, I still cannot help but be anxious, as well. Classic case of sepanx (separation anxiety).

The house was awfully quiet that weekend that he was away. Worse, I barely heard from him the whole time he was in Singapore!

At first I thought that maybe something was wrong with my phone’s signal, or with our internet connection at home. Eventually I realized — and got to accept– that he was busy. It was an eventful weekend… And he was having fun.

I also realized that it would have been more difficult for me if he kept texting and telling me that he was homesick, or that he was unhappy. I would rather that he was busy and enjoying… Even without us.

Letting go is not as hard when you know your child is excited, not unhappy, and is unafraid.

***

Alas, Sunday evening came.  We were back at the airport, this time to pick him up.

It was a rainy late Sunday evening, but the airport was still buzzing with activity. A lot of families were picking up their loved ones.

As our car was lined up in traffic along the Arrival area driveway, a thought came to me…

To people or families with loved ones abroad, THIS IS the happiest place on earth.

Because truly, nothing beats the joy and happiness one feels when you see your loved one coming out of that Arrival area.

Being reunited with someone you love = priceless. ❤️

image

Okay, so he probably doesn’t look so happy… Let’s blame the hour and a half flight delay. It’s one thirty in the morning, so I’m cutting him some slack. 😉

❤️❤️❤️

Photos are all mine 😊

Meet me at the bookstore…

16114449_1051204061692813_5494425477215210884_n

Oh, the places you’ll go…

The book – Twenty Years in Between – is out!!

Those who have been following my blog, Facebook and Instagram accounts would know that I have been doing the rounds, distributing to various bookstores.

Lately I have been receiving a number of inquiries on where they can get the book. Truth be told, right now there are limited number of printed copies available, so I had to choose strategically where best to place them.

Below is a list of the bookstores that already carry Twenty Years in Between:

National Bookstore: 

* Alabang Town Center (ATC) * Festival Supermall * SM Southmall* SM Center Molino, Bacoor* Glorietta* Greenbelt 1* Market Market* SM Aura Premier* SM Mall of Asia (MOA)* Robinsons Place Manila* Harrison Plaza* Taft Madison 

Powerbooks: 

*Alabang Town Center* Evia North* Festival Supermall

Fully Booked:

*The Fort, BGC* Mall of Asia (MOA)* Katipunan* Eastwood* Alabang Town Center 

Central Bookstore: 

*SM Megamall* Lyceum Branch, Makati* Also available online at http://www.central.com.ph

For delivery this week in the following National Bookstore branches:

Trinoma* SM City North* Quezon Ave.* Loyola Heights Katipunan* SM City Fairview* SM City Marikina* SM Megamall

Copies are limited, so GRAB ONE NOW!! ❤

***

This time last year, I was still in the process of getting to know my publisher. Truly I am still amazed at the many things that can — or better yet, that had happened within a year’s time! 

I am grateful to the people who have supported this dream of mine. Indeed, I am so very blessed. 

Sharing with you some photos of this wonderful journey…

From the Book Signing last September

With Ms. Clarissa Ines, my uber talented book cover artist!

 Dear family and friends… What to write, what to write… 🙂

More Friends Enjoying the Book…

How to write heartfelt dedications… ❤ 

My Bookstore Visits…

It is fun, it is tiring… it is exhilarating! Best part is– I know this journey has just begun.

All glory goes to the One Who made all these possible. All for You, Lord. 🙂 

Leaving you with this… 

13934996_934169373396283_9064235400315671062_n

Because this is truly, definitely how you will feel after reading the book…

Twenty Years in Between… The Love Story of Lizzie and Joseph

Grab a copy now!!

❤ ❤

photo credits: BuzzFeed Books post grabbed from Facebook ; all other photos are mine 🙂

Like us on FB: Twenty Years in Between 

Blessings abound

Life is not perfect. We don’t always get what we want… And when we do get it, it’s not when we want it. Sometimes God has other plans, His timing different from ours. But once He gives, He gives BIG… much bigger than what we asked for or expected.

Let me tell you how my past Wednesday went…

For several months I have been working on having my book displayed and sold at major local bookstores. It had been a tedious process. I had to talk to various people, I had to “sell” my book to convince them that it was worth having in their stores. 

I wasn’t really asking for much. Having five to ten copies in one branch would have been okay with me. I even told my contacts that I was fine with having the book available even just in the National Capital Region. I just wanted it to be out there

I have been truly blessed to have met some really nice people who approved the book right away, but the paper work and legal documentation that the whole transaction entailed took time. And it really took time. I had no choice but to wait.

And so I waited. I prayed and waited.

I received a phone call Tuesday morning from my contact from the country’s biggest bookstore chain (let’s hide it under the name National Bookstore). She said my Purchase Orders were ready for pick up anytime. I had a feeling they made it a point to release my POs before Christmas so the books can be delivered at least to some of their branches before Christmas.

I scheduled a trip to their head office for the following day. 

When I got to the office, the Purchasing Officer handed me the POs — which were almost half a ream thick. Good for 195 branches. Meaning they decided to order even for their provincial outlets. 

I was over the moon. 

Over lunch while I was waiting for the IT Department to open so I can get the bar codes.

When I got to the department where I was supposed to get the bar codes for the books, I was told I had to give them the exact quantity of books ordered… NOT just the number of purchase orders / branches.

And so I had to count. One by one. Per PO. Per branch. 

It took a while. I was getting flustered, afraid I might make a mistake.  I was also quite in shock. As the numbers went higher, the more stunned I got.

In the middle of my ‘counting,’ an elderly supplier who was waiting beside me muttered, “Wow, that’s quite a lot of POs you have there!” I could only smile shyly.

And I thought: How great is my God!

ALL I ASKED for were five to ten copies per branch. In my mind, twenty branches around the metro would have sufficed.

God is simply amazing. When He gives, He gives BIG, indeed! 

nbs5

Now available at National Bookstore and Powerbooks in Alabang Town Center

***

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

***

Twenty Years in Between… The Love Story of Lizzie and Joseph

NOW available at National Bookstore, Powerbooks and Fully Booked in Alabang Town Center (ATC)

Also available at Central Books Mega Mall and online at http://www.centralbooks.com.ph

SOON at most National Bookstore and Powerbooks outlets in Metro Manila

*****

all photos are mine 🙂