Spent the most part of my Monday morning chatting on the phone with one of my best girlfriends. Somehow the minutes just seemed to tick away so fast, yet the topics seemed endless.
We talked about baseball (yes, baseball mom she is!)… we talked about upcoming tournaments… we talked about my son’s school, then we talked about her son’s school… we talked about interfering and overbearing parents (yes, that’s gossip)… we talked about our plans for our sons’ future (which didn’t only cover baseball, but their lives in general)… We pretty much covered a lot of things in just one phone call.
That’s our kind of friendship. We talk a lot. We share our thoughts, our experiences… we dissect them and we try to find answers to questions together. We talk and we also listen. It’s not just a one way thing.
I met her because of baseball. She was a veteran baseball mom of sorts when my son was just starting and she took us under her wing (she was team manager then). I didn’t really expect that we will end up being good friends, but through the years, situations and experiences (hers and mine) paved the way for us to get to know each other better. Our values are the same, we pretty much think alike, and during those times that we don’t exactly agree on something (which is pretty rare), we still respect the other person’s views. We don’t judge nor force our ideas on each other. At the end of the day, it’s still about respect.
What strengthens our friendship is the fact that we both know that whatever happens, we will stand by each other and we have each other’s backs. And we have proven this to each other on different occasions — she was there to listen and support me when some people were being mean… and I was there for her when she was the one being attacked maliciously by people who claimed to be her friends.
There’s more to friendship than just the label. You can address someone as your “BFF” (Best Friend Forever) or “SFF” (Super Friend Forever) or whatever other adjective you want to put before the FF… But I believe it doesn’t work that way.
To me friendship is about trust and respect. It’s about knowing that whatever happens, the other person will stand by you and will help you fight your battles. A real friend listens and doesn’t judge. Sometimes he or she may not understand, but the willingness to do so is always there.
Friends may argue but in the end the relationship should be strong enough to withstand whatever differences they may have.
Personally, I’d rather have a few real friends than a lot of flaky ones — those who will drop you like a hot potato the moment they find out that you are in trouble, or worse, when they realize that you are not of any service to them. Meaning, user-friendly people — and boy, are there lots of them!
So, maybe I choose my friends. I know I am not ‘friendly’ with everybody. I choose the people I call my real friends. An acquaintance to me is still just that — an acquaintance. There is no depth to the relationship. But I put great value on what I have with people I consider my friends. I know that I will fight with them and for them if need be.
Whether I talk to my friends two hours a day, three times a week… or we only get to talk for five harried minutes, once a month… I rest on the knowledge and confidence that our friendship stays the same. It is a relationship backed by beliefs and values, experiences, history, love, trust and respect.
Friendship to me is more than just a label.
all photos via google images