Everytime I open my blogsite, one of the first things I check is if I have a comment from my readers. I like receiving comments… first, it tells me that someone actually read my post. Because that someone took the time to post a comment, then it means he/she not only read but at the same time thought about or reflected on whatever it was I had to say. Somehow I feel a certain sense of connection between me and my reader. And what a great feeling that is!
Lately, however, it seems like a bulk of the comments I receive are mostly junk. They go directly to the SPAMbox. Most of the time I simply ignore them and just press delete right away. But there are times when out of frustration — or sheer boredom– I do read my spam mails… and they can truly crack me up — or confuse me. Or both.
Allow me to share three of my favorites. The bold and italicized words are from my thought balloon. Read on…
1) Comment on my Who is She? (About Me) page:
I believe what you posted was actually very logical. Yes, I am a logical person. However, think about this, suppose you added a little information? That was the original idea. I was talking about myself. I ain’t suggesting your information isn’t good. Again, I WAS talking about me… why shouldn’t it be good?! However what if you added a title that makes people desire more? I
mean Who is She? Life as it Happens is kinda boring.
**Did he/she just say that I am boring?! There goes my self-esteem… 😦 But wait, why should I listen to someone who uses “ain’t?” Unless he’s Elvis.
2. Comment on my the post That ’80s Music Blog:
Hi my loved one! Woah! I am so flattered and loved. I wish to say that this post is awesome, nice written and come with almost all significant infos. I would like to see extra posts like this .
**I just love this comment. It is the opposite of the first one. I wish I will have more comments like this… more
computers commenters boldly professing their love… Telling me that my information is significant — even when it was mostly just about the music I listened to in my youth…
3. Comment on the post Keeping up with Caffrey (this one’s a bit long so please bear with me):
Hello Web Admin (hello who?!), I noticed that your On-Page SEO (my what?!) is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post(this sounds serious. .. I should take note...), also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization (aha! I AM using bold or italics now!). On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda (are we referring to that cute, black and white creature found in China??). No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO? (Please, do tell…) First your keyword must appear in the title (Keyword. Title. Got it!). Then it must appear in the URL (the what?!). You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing) The room is now starting to spin. Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article… Migraine alert!!
**THAT, my friends, was the longest, most informative comment that I ever had — which truly sounded German to me. The cooing of babies made more sense. The mooing of cows made more sense. Seriously. They lost me at “three H tags.”
Thing is, my post was about Kim Kardashian and Matt Bomer. I even had photos of them! If the faces of Kim and Matt were not enough to attract site visits, then I don’t know what is…
Don’t you just love spams?? 😉
photos via google images and clip art.