Facebook friends…

...and then there was Facebook

Sometime last week, a good friend of mine told me that she was “unfriended” on Facebook by someone she had a falling out with.  I don’t really know if  ‘unfriend’ is the right term or it should be ‘defriend.’  I’m sure you know what I mean, though.  It’s the process of removing someone from one’s Facebook friends list.  

When I asked her how she felt, she said that in all honesty, she didn’t mind that her name was removed from the friends list.  What pissed her off (pardon the term) is that the other person did it first… even went to the extent of blocking her — meaning she can’t view the person’s page.  Not that she wanted to view it, she said, but somehow she wouldn’t know if the other person’s posting something about her.  Oh, the power of the posted word.

Of course it’s also different when you’re the one who did the unfriending and the blocking first.  It’s much like getting dumped.  Wouldn’t you rather be the ‘dumper’ than be the ‘dumpee?’

***

Really now...

Honestly,  I never took Facebook friendships seriously.  Yeah it’s nice to reconnect with old friends… nice to find out what’s happening in other people’s lives.  Sometimes it’s like watching a soap opera… every post, every status update, gives you the feeling of being part of a person’s life story.  You don’t really have to be with that person, but you know enough about him or her.  It can be addictive, too.  You can’t help but follow the drama when a Facebook friend is sharing her sob story to the citizens of cyberworld. 

But a lot of times I ask myself how many of my Facebook friends are truly my friends in real life?  I have 553 FB friends at present.  Sometimes I wonder, should anything happen to me, will all 553 of my friends run to my rescue?  I wonder how many of them will lend me money if I’m in dire need.  Probably 5 of them… or 10 at the most.  And maybe half of that would be my relatives. 

I don’t talk or chat with all my FB friends.  Yes I follow some of their posts — sometimes I even stalk some of them.  Randomly.  When I’m dead bored.  But then if they post updates and photos and it’s there for the world to see, would that still be considered stalking? 

Anyhow, the question is, if I lose a FB friend — like, if for some reason I get blocked or deleted from his or her list, should I feel bad about it?  Do I feel insulted?  Should I even care?  Funny, would I even know that I was shunned? Probably not. 

***

To continue my friend’s story, several days ago she received a text message from this same person who ‘unfriended’ her, asking her something.  Then the other day when they happened to see each other in one event, this person even called out to her and again asked her something.  My friend remained civil and replied to the question. 

But there was a thought balloon looming above her head that says “Why the h$@# are you talking to me when I know you were ranting about me and even went as far as blocking me from your FB?”  

I said maybe it’s the other person’s way of reaching out. 

Her reply:  “Nah, Facebook says we’re not friends.  And I believe Facebook.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of a friendship. 

So be careful what you post… and who you make friends with… or who you unfriend.  Basically, think well about how you view your Facebook friends.  Because not everyone in your FB friends list is a REAL friend.   Friendship entails honesty, sincerity, understanding,  acceptance and respect.  Friendship is a relationship.  You don’t switch it on and off on a whim.

Friendship, I believe,  is more than a status update. 

 **********

photos via weheartit.com

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2 thoughts on “Facebook friends…

  1. Facebook is one of my connection tools…but you are right! Friendship takes more than a status update. The core of my Facebook friends are a group I see more than once a week and we text and talk on the phone as well. My husband says we act like a group of teenagers. I say we just have fun together and are more like a happy, close-knit family.

    • Hi there!
      That’s nice to hear (re your Facebook friends). Hope I can say the same… but truth be told, most of my facebook friends are not my friends in “real life.” They may have been old classmates, acquaintances, officemates from past life, but after pleaseantries are exchanged, we really don’t have much to talk about. I don’t mean to sound snobbish, but that’s just the way it is.
      But I also think that Facebook is a good connection tool… because there are people whether from the past or the present that you want to stay connected with. And what better way of knowing more about them than following their facebook updates:) Keeping and preserving the friendship is something else, though. One still has to look beyond the computer screen and go the extra mile. 🙂
      Thanks for stopping by!!
      B

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